Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
