If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
