I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
