You made me cry and you don't even care
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just want to make out with him forever
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
