even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
