It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Randomize
