Pregnant stripper...not hot.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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