I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Boobs are out for the taking
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
