is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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