This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The Olympian is in my bed
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
