You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
