So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
