A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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