So drunk, too bad you don't want this
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Randomize
