Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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