After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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