NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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