But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
