I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
