More tranny stories later!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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