you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
