Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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