dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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