Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
