just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
