its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
