D3 body, D1 cock
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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