At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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