my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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