Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Blood and glitter go together right?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
