I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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