Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
