Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
