Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
