Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Can Purell be used as lube?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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