arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Randomize
