You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
