Say something about gay babies.
it hurts more in the daytime
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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