how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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