just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
