yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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