that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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