Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
