I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
