fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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