I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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