At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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