Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
