It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
