I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
